The Dream

Why are tennis players so hot 2?

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 31, 2009

The girls, even hottter!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Caroline-Wozniacki

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Wah wah nose bleed

Why are tennis players so hot?

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 31, 2009

Been watching French Open non stop for the past 4 days, so long since I followed it so religiously. The last time was pri6 I think, I dont know most of the players already, I am still living in my Pete Samprass-Andre Agassi era. But still, I dont understand why tennis players are so cute!!!! Is it a requirement to be cute to play tennis? 😉

World #1: Rafael Nadal

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#2 Roger Federer!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#4 Novak Djokovic

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#5 Juan Martin Del Potro

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#6 Andy Roddick

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The girls are even hottter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh all these tennis playerzzzzzzzz

Scary Dinner on its way

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 30, 2009

Finished watching S factor 🙂 I really think the models are really good looking, Kay Kay, Xue Sha & Sonia!!!!!!!!! Some girls just have everything, they have the looks, the brains, the money (they are not stupid and bimbotic they are smart gosh why are some people so perfect????).

9:28pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 28, 2009

Phew it has been a looooooooooooong day didnt get to go for tennis today and use my new roger federer red-white baby 😦

TINGYI & HZ, IF YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS. I HAVE PARTYWORLD VOUCHER VALID TILL JUNE LETS GO PARTYWORLD SOOON!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 I am going to youtube chinese songs and start learning them now!!!! Last night hz played the My Queen song for me its so niceeeeeeeeeeeeee omg I’m indeed a changed person, have never been such a fanatic hahahha.

For memories sake, I need to jot it down that Jon was tgt with Cheryl Chang in year 2!!!!!! Note to self, ask him for juicy details during next family dinner!

My sister just came back from the fashion show, sigh life of the rich elite and priviledged. Tingyi, I think I am abit like the bespectacled Ms Yao in Knock Knock Loving You. Just before my sister left house for the fashion show today, my mom told her to dress up nicely and use a decent bag. To that, my sister retorted saying which of her bag is not decent. GUESS WHAT MY MOM SAID. She said, how I know, maybe you will go crazy and use Yvonne’s low-class and ugly bags. Thank you very much -.- I think this description needs the next three alphabets to have a good ending, FML.

<3

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 26, 2009

OMG LOOK AT THOSE CURLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVELY.

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Abused

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 26, 2009

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Read some poems online, unfortunately or maybe fortunately, I echo their thoughts.

This is called living in my world (bold those that fits into my life):

Late on the dishes, food still on the plate
Mommy is mad-Daddy’s home late.
I’m in the corner crying all alone
Wishing to myself, get me out of this home.
I’m always getting beaten, never treated well
I’m the one child’s whose life’s a living hell.

Thrashes on my back, bruises on my face
All because I didn’t clean up this place.

I don’t have a bed, cement floor is all I got
Cold walls, no blankets, not even a cozy cot.
Laundry not completed, so no dinner for tonight.
My family all eating, plainly in sight.
Raggedy clothes, cold feet I must add
I know what you’re thinking you must have been bad
But that’s not the case-Honest to god
I’m just a misfit, the odd pea from the pod.

I was cute in the beginning, a mistake in the end.
Not allowed to socialize, not allowed to have one friend.

Daddy doesn’t like me, he’s mean-it’s true
He yells mean things at me for anything I do.
He tells me he’ll kill me, that I’m going to hell.
If anyone asks he’ll tell them I just fell.
Mommy doesn’t say much-well nothing at all.
I’m not allowed to do anything-I have to lay there when I fall.
Looking all depressed is what I do best
But trying to survive is definitely a big test.

No child should live the life I have to go by
Every child should smile, and have no reason to cry.
Living in my world, is definitely not fun
I guess I’m that *lucky* child, that very *special* one.

WOW.

Scold scold scold non stop

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 26, 2009

My mom has been scolding me for as long as I can rmb, as long as I have been awake for today. Woke up at 8 plus for driving today only to hear her naggings about how I am running late (driving’s at 9.50am btw), then she went on and on about how I spend money like water, and I just felt like I needed to defend myself cause I only spend money on food and cab, thats about it. And then I hurried myself to go bathe lest I hear all the naggings again! And she came up to my room and started clearing and tidying my room for me (not in a nice way, but in an angry way). I hate it when people touch my things cause I may be messy, but I know where my things are placed. I read in some article, intelligent people are all like that. They use messiness to mask their intelligence, why cant my mom accept me for who I am? Then I couldnt bathe any longer cause my skin was getting scaly so I stepped out of the shower room, and BLAST she started scolding and scolding again. I kept my mouth shut cause I knew retorting would make things worse, before I left house, she told me dont act stupid and that she wanted my room neat before she came home. Right after driving I came home and pack and pack and pack and took 1 whole hour to clear everything. That 1 hr, though tiring, was total peace, no one to nag and scold me. Once she came back again, the noise started again and need i repeat, AGAIN. She kept going on and on about how there was a thunderstorm going on and I am still going cluny to visit Vi. Does she think I am stupid or stupid I was obviously in my room waiting for the rain to stop. So, if there was thunderstorm and I had exams, oh does that mean I should not leave house? Gosh, rubbish.

All alot more to talk about, but its just to much to even list them down. All I can say is that the time spent at cluny and at Donald’s house today is pure bliss, the serenity was hard to beg for. I seldom get angry, when I get angry, I am really really really very angry.

Sad face.

FML

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 25, 2009

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This is like a cocaine addiction; I cannot stop. Sigh 5 hours since the last post and I still have not started on the appeal essay, I think the other main reason, other than laziness, is that I really have no idea what to write. What I have presented in my personal statement, during the interview and essay test already truly reflect why I want to read medicine for my tertiary education. Their rejection meant that they dont agree with my views, so is a repeat of my views even necessary? I doubt I am able to write something fresh, after all, I want to read medicine for the same reason, the reason is the same after all these while. What do they want from us, a totally radical brilliant reason which doesnt reflect our true self/ thoughts?

Sad things aside, I read the bizipedia today & I must say I am excited to do something new in life, everything seems so fun and interesting. But that aside, I know very clearly what I want, still. I dont dare to think about the future, I dont dare to have big dreams and big plans anymore, so this is what university does to me. Good job, the system is flawed.

Sometimes I secretly wish I was a rockstar. I dont want to study, I want to perform in a club, I want to sing scream dance party till I drop dead, no troubles. I want to waste my life away, I need to find something to spur me on in life. I cannot continue leading such a life, I am in distraught. Even my mom has more life than me, she goes out everyday, here I am, like a housewife, looking after the house everyday. Sigh all the times when my parents asked me what I wanted to be in future, I said housewife. I didnt mean it then, but now, I wish I would marry well and be a housewife. I love being a housewife, the thought makes me excited! I would decorate my house very very nicely, I would prepare good meals for my husband and kids, I would want to give me kids the best education they can ever have, I want to go travelling with them. If I had a baby boy, I want to buy the whole series of RL polo shirts for him, I think baby boys look so adorable in them! For the baby girl, I want her to be hip and cool I want to try radical hairstyles on her, hairstyles that I have never had the courage to have. I would give her a Bung haircut, spike up her hair, after I am sick of the bung haircut, I would trim in to become a bob hair cut with curly bangs. And after that, she can have very very long hair and I would braid them for her! Oh oh I want to buy long flowy dresses for the pretty girl! Yay and I would tell them bedtime stories every night before tucking them into bed. Sometimes, we can build a tent in our house and all sleep together in it 🙂 This is the life, a far cry from my current state.

So why do you want to be a doctor?

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 25, 2009

I am starting to doubt myself, my reasons for wanting to be a doctor. I dont have the slightest reason on how to start on my appeal letter, I feel like I have lost the touch. I have been waived and swayed. I only have 1000 characters, I dont know what to include, I yearn for someone to help me and guide me along, but all along, I have been in these battle all alone. At least for my personal statement, I had Vi proofreading it for me, the nurses & pharmacist editting it for me from their point of view, and the doctors laughing at it and helping me strike things out. How about now? What do I include? But I know ultimately, this is my own issue, I need to clear this hurdle of self doubt and find my burning desire to appeal and read medicine. Sigh, if only if things werent this hard. I must start on my essay and finish it by tonight!! Its a MUST.

Aimless

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 25, 2009

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Feeling really lost and aimless at the moment, its as though I dont know what I want in my life anymore. I really hate this phase of my life, all these uncertainties and rejection. Finally settled down to look at the Biz package, I am now at the appeal website, reading the instructions and requirements. So this is it, a 1000 character essay about your reasons for appealing to your desired course. I dont get it why university application process is like this, how they judge you based on your interview, based on essay test. Can passion and interest actually be judged and determined from a 1-hr interview? So does that put me way below my peers, that my passion for medicine is less palpable? I am really getting sick of all these university applications, the whole process just irks me and puts me off.  Now, all I really hope for is for Aust Med to accept me, it has been my dream since Year 1 in college, I really want to get in very very badly. But I dont know if I would still stand a chance looking at how badly my Isat when. In the midst of it, I knew my heart was no longer on the paper, my mind wandered off, I tried to tell myself, focus this is it this will determine my future, but I just couldnt really concentrate, its just this feeling that you know you didnt do really well. Exactly how I felt after SATS, which i scored horribly. I dont know, all I can do now is pray that I did alright for it, I hope my percentile would be decent! I just want to be offered an interview, I just need the chance(s) to prove myself again! There are 2 more schools now, UNSW & Adelaide, I need to go for them. Meanwhile, I need to send my supporting documents to University of Auckland sigh. All these in the midst of multiple driving lessons a week and submission of all the NUS documents.

Now, as I try to draft out my appeal essay, I re-read my Personal Statement, the feeling of being excited for med schl entry is foreign, all these rejection has made me numb, I need to rethink about why I want to be a doctor, I dont want to be one of those who do it just for glory and glamour, I really want to dedicate my life to patient care. Sigh if only if I was given a chance to do so. Aussie med, please accept me, please. I have never been this desperate.

The day has barely started, but I cant wait for the night to come already, this is how aimless I have been, in the morning, I yearn for night time, in the night, I yearn for yet another sunrise. I dont know how I am going to survive university life, I have no friends in Biz and people would most probably have already formed cliques since they all applied for it tgt sigh.

There’s really so much to worry about. Where have the days where we were carefree kids gone to?