The Dream

FML

Posted in Uncategorized by ladyjoker on May 25, 2009

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This is like a cocaine addiction; I cannot stop. Sigh 5 hours since the last post and I still have not started on the appeal essay, I think the other main reason, other than laziness, is that I really have no idea what to write. What I have presented in my personal statement, during the interview and essay test already truly reflect why I want to read medicine for my tertiary education. Their rejection meant that they dont agree with my views, so is a repeat of my views even necessary? I doubt I am able to write something fresh, after all, I want to read medicine for the same reason, the reason is the same after all these while. What do they want from us, a totally radical brilliant reason which doesnt reflect our true self/ thoughts?

Sad things aside, I read the bizipedia today & I must say I am excited to do something new in life, everything seems so fun and interesting. But that aside, I know very clearly what I want, still. I dont dare to think about the future, I dont dare to have big dreams and big plans anymore, so this is what university does to me. Good job, the system is flawed.

Sometimes I secretly wish I was a rockstar. I dont want to study, I want to perform in a club, I want to sing scream dance party till I drop dead, no troubles. I want to waste my life away, I need to find something to spur me on in life. I cannot continue leading such a life, I am in distraught. Even my mom has more life than me, she goes out everyday, here I am, like a housewife, looking after the house everyday. Sigh all the times when my parents asked me what I wanted to be in future, I said housewife. I didnt mean it then, but now, I wish I would marry well and be a housewife. I love being a housewife, the thought makes me excited! I would decorate my house very very nicely, I would prepare good meals for my husband and kids, I would want to give me kids the best education they can ever have, I want to go travelling with them. If I had a baby boy, I want to buy the whole series of RL polo shirts for him, I think baby boys look so adorable in them! For the baby girl, I want her to be hip and cool I want to try radical hairstyles on her, hairstyles that I have never had the courage to have. I would give her a Bung haircut, spike up her hair, after I am sick of the bung haircut, I would trim in to become a bob hair cut with curly bangs. And after that, she can have very very long hair and I would braid them for her! Oh oh I want to buy long flowy dresses for the pretty girl! Yay and I would tell them bedtime stories every night before tucking them into bed. Sometimes, we can build a tent in our house and all sleep together in it 🙂 This is the life, a far cry from my current state.

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